When my husband Richard’s health was failing it was a challenging time for both of us. After several months of nurturing him and being his primary caregiver, I took an extended weekend cruise touring the coast of CA. It was a break I needed, and I was fortunate to have a competent home health care person come in to take my place for a few days.
While cruising one evening, I went down to one of the small bars to have a cocktail before my dinner. As I sat there watching the other passengers walk through the mezzanine area, I noticed this single unoccupied cruise lounge chair facing a wall. Wondering how it got placed that way I was surprised when a man came and just sat in it.
He didn’t move the chair or seem to be interested in turning it around. He just sat there facing the wall. I was so curious and amazed at his disconnection with the world. There was all sorts of cruise hustle and bustle going on around him and yet, facing the wall he blocked it out. He wasn’t sleeping but clearly, he was detached. After about ten minutes he got up and left. I thought it was some of the oddest behavior I had ever seen.
And yet, before I could take another sip of my cocktail, another man took the seat. He seemed to be of the same stature of the man who just left.
He also seemed content to sit, facing the wall and block out all that was going on around him. Within a few minutes he also got up and left. Once again, I was struck by the significance of being detached from the experience being presented and needing to take a pause. To this day I continue to think about our need to preserve. Of being present in crowded situations yet not wanting or needing to be actively engaged. Whether it be intentional or unplanned, how all of us drift in and out of life situations.
Wisdom tells me that the drifting is a necessary part of self preservation.