Like most things in life, feeling lonely or lost is a choice. All be it,
sometimes there is a reason for the loneliness or the loss; but it is a
choice to stay in the feeling.
I’ve had times when it was extremely difficult to rid myself from the feelings of loneliness or loss. In those cases, I tell myself that it’s ok just to sit with the feeling for a while. I is benefit in allowing ourselves to sit and experience the process of our feelings. It’s our own process and it needs to be honored. It maybe similar to others but it will be unique to us.
As I type this, I wonder are you still feeling lonely? Maybe reading this provides a distraction? I do find there is a connection of feeling to the process of writing a letter or journaling. There can be a connection in reading it too. My wish is this is true for you.
Sometimes, when I am feeling lonely, I picture one of my loved ones (living or deceased) sitting with me having their arm around me. If I close my eyes the picture becomes more vivid and real. It evokes warm feelings that are familiar to me. This helps me settle my angst and it gives me some comfort.
To me, being lonely is different than feeling lost. Feeling lost has a need to do or a need to find something to attach to. It is a feeling of being untethered, like having a ship without a rudder. There seems to be desperation and hopelessness with feeling lost. Feeling lost for an extended period of time is not very helpful to our emotional stability.
I think of being lost when there has been a major upset in our lives, like a death; or, one of life’s major endings, like loss of a job. Managing through the loss is the answer. It supports change. The solution is a personal one so, again I mention process. How you choose to manage it. Whether to do something about it…or not.
I experienced loss early in my life. At that time, my emotional process was in the early stages of forming. It was at a time when guidance and support from others was critical. Looking back, I realize that I am grateful for the benefit of consistency in my life. I write the word and realize how much consistency plays in supporting and guiding someone out of the loss or out of feeling lost. The smallest piece of the familiar gives a piece of foundation. That foundation is a beginning to move beyond the loss. Consistency is a corner stone to building something new and moving on.